University Of Chicago College Admissions 2009/2010
Essay Option 2
The late-eighteenth-century popular philosopher and cultural critic George Lichtenberg wrote, "Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc. at times before they're worn out and at times-and this is worst of all-before we have new ones." Write an essay about something you have outgrown, perhaps before you had a replacement-a friend, a political philosophy, a favorite author, or anything that has had an influence on you. What, if anything, has taken its place?
Through out life everyone will outgrown things. This happens from birth, you outgrow baby clothes and cribs, and it will continue to happen even if we may not want it to. When asked about something I have out grown numerous things come to mind, but few are worth writing about and only one is relevant to most people, childhood.
My childhood was a memorable and fun time. I remember going to the park, eating ice cream, and not doing my homework. People too often don’t have the chance to experience a good childhood, but I was fortunate enough to. I could stay up real late, wake up real early, and then go to school with more energy then an auctioneer. I could eat whatever I liked and never gain a pound. No problems, no stress, no bills, and best of all no responsibilities. I never wanted to outgrow childhood. I had it good.
Then came preteens, and teens. Then came the hormones and the girls and the influences. Then came the stress of a teenager, and the responsibility. Society calls it “adolescence” that took over a nice young problem free child. Adolescence took place of my childhood before I had a chance to fully enjoy it. I had girlfriends who needed the whole world at fourteen, teachers who wanted ten page research papers, and parents who wanted me to do chores. I remember thinking, “things will be a lot different after I get my license,” I don’t know why but at that time, I believed getting my license was the secret of the universe that just couldn’t wait to be unlocked. After adolescence the young adult stage spun me around so fast I had to stop and reassess things. I had jobs, college, and bills; things that were very new to me. Now I’m utilizing ssn numbers, filling out W2’s, and organizing my budget book.
“Responsibilities!, you have no responsibility!” my Dad would say.
“Oh I’ve got plenty,” I would reply at the age of ten or eleven. Well he can have them back. Everything used to be nice and carefree. Moving at my own pace with no worries; riding my bike around the neighborhood and hanging out. These days I feel like everything is on fast-forward; I would pause it if I could, to just take a breather for a few minutes, grab a coffee and then hit play again.
If I could go back in time I would try and hold on to that childhood state as long as I could because children these days don’t get to enjoy it either. The whole world is about growing up early and being the best first. When it should be about kids being kids and adults being lame, living life as it comes at you not as its thrown at you. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have thrown it right back and jumped on my big wheel and rode away shouting “Long live childhood”.
Post Write:
** How do you feel about the paper so far?
* I am not sure if i like it yet, I sometimes have a habit of going off topic and I dont know if i have done that here
**What remains to be done? Please be precise.
*I still need to proof read this paper thoroughly and correct grammatical errors and possibly change some sentences around , restructure the paper differently to be completely satisfied.
***What questions do you have for readers about the piece?
* Do you feel that i stay on topic and write this paper correctly?
*Is there anything particular that you enjoy about this piece?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Reviewers Name: Adam Rusin
ReplyDelete10/07/09
Josh Bononca: essay of application
1.Our workshop this week was an essay of application. Our particular paper was directed toward an application to a selected college that we could either choose or we could use the colleges provided on the web page. The University of Chicago’s question asked him to write about something we have outgrown and if so what has replaced it.
2.Josh did a good job answering the question. He talks about his childhood. He gave some really good examples from his personal experience and also did a great job using some general cases that most kids can actually relate too. He was very clear and stated his ideas well.
3.The actual flow of the paper is good. It’s easy to follow. There were a few sentences that need a different structure, or reworded. There are a few grammatical errors. He needs to emphasize his ideas a little more. His conclusion needs work. Overall well a written piece.
4.Certain parts of the paper leave me confused; I don’t know who he was talking about when he referred to “they”. As previously stated the mechanics need work only in certain areas. Certain sentences just sound funny; they create a speed bump in his smooth flow. Its almost there.
Hi Josh:
ReplyDeleteI like your choice of question very much. I'm glad you chose to write on this subject.
Your writing has a good sincerity and engaging voice. You establish, as a result, a solid relationship with your reader--certainly me.
I have to admit, however, that when I read the initial question or prompt I assumed that you'd have to choose a subject somewhat less abstract or large than "childhood." In other words, I expected that you'd choose a somewhat specific object (representing childhood, say, like a baseball glove?) or a belief or principle (say, a belief that the world is fair and that only decent people get rewarded for their efforts). Still, your choice, despite its "large" size, does seem to fit.
Now, you'll have to describe what has taken the place of "childhood." You seem to be implying that you'd like to go back to that state. But, unless I'm wrong, I believe the question is asking you to consider that replacement equals a kind of growth or increase in maturity, right?
I like the (brief) use of dialogue here. And I like the tone overall: humorous, nostalgic.
Let me know what you think. Talk Back, okay?
A bit too much like speech? You'll need adverb form of "real," no? real late, wake up real early,
Thank you. Im happy you like the topic question that I selected.
ReplyDeleteI apprieciate the recognition of voice in my work its not something I specifically try and establish but it seems to always come out this way, and im glad it does sound well.
I agree that I need to be more detailed in describing what has taken the place of my childhood, it would be maturity and responsibility, and I will try and bring that out more on my final draft. , thanks again.